Thank you.

They say that a hard experience will show you who your true friends are. I had no reason to doubt this a week ago when I went in for a minor surgery. The surgery itself was not a big deal. Just a same day office visit kind of surgery. A partial uvulectomy. I expected to feel just fine in a couple days tops. Much to my annoyance, it has been a long and tearful recovery. And a terribly lonely one.

Today I (under the influence of a narcotic I must add) moped to a very good friend of mine that no one in our circle seemed to care how I was doing. Bear in mind that this drug tended to make me weepy and I was overly prone to feeling sorry for myself at that point. But I was genuinely concerned at the time that I must not even be likeable to fall off everyone's radar like that. She recognized that I was dosed at the time, so she gently steered the conversation to lighter things and had me laughing in two minutes flat. This friend is easily one of the busiest people I know, yet she has checked in with me every day.

She made me realize something though. I was being terribly self-centered. I was so focused on me that I failed to realize that the people who have checked in with me haven't done so because I'M so great. They've done it because THEY are. These are people who are consistently thoughtful to everyone around them. They've made thoughtfulness a habit.

As far as the friends who didn't check in, this is not intended to make anyone feel chagrined or chastised. I assume they're just a lot like me: sometimes forgetful or too busy or preoccupied with other things.

But I want to be able to say that's the old me. Hard experiences show you who your true friends are? No. Hard experiences show you how a true friend is. And what they do. Not because of who you are, but because of who they are. So thank you to those of you who have been a friend to me. In so doing, you have been teaching me so much about how to be a better friend myself.