Girls all look identical except for their hair color. All they have to do to fool people into believing they are someone else is wear a wig. Every girl keeps several wigs on hand for this purpose.
Wealthy people are self-centered and patronizing and very easily stressed out.
Smart people wear glasses; athletic people are dumb.
Girls will allow any guy to kiss them, even if they have a boyfriend. A sound thumping of the offending male will restore order to the relationship. These situations never cause the boyfriend to question his girlfriend’s devotion.
Everyone “plays the field” until you agree to “go steady”. There is nothing wrong with dating two different girls in the same weekend, or even on the same date.
Periods do not exist! Only exclamation points! (With the exception of the occasional question mark or two largely displayed over someone’s head when they are confused!)
The majority of teens have no siblings. If they do, they come home to visit once every sixteen years.
Dogs and cats hate each other. Dogs particularly hate mailmen.
Elaborate plans and well-laid schemes never backfire, unless perpetrated by the bad guy, in which case they always do.
Teachers are all old and crotchety.
Even though they are always broke, teenagers don’t work except to do odd jobs when they desperately need money.
Being broke causes pockets to turn inside out.
Girls can wear impossibly short skirts and no one will bat an eye.
Poor girls who don’t even own a car make pretty decent mechanics.
The person you fall for in first grade is the person you will love your whole life.
Garbage cans make excellent hiding places.
Everyone walks to school.
Nobody drinks or does drugs. Nobody goes to church. Everybody who's anybody goes to the dance.
In the summer, there is nothing wrong with wearing a bathing suit everywhere you go.
If you go out walking alone, you will inevitably run into all of your friends.
Everyone owns a metal detector. When using it at the beach, you will always find something valuable to sell. However, if you instead decide to track down the rightful owner, you will most certainly meet a beautiful woman and she will shower you with kisses.
The best looking girls will make a boy spontaneously shout "va-va-voom!".
The most romantic dates involve you and your sweetheart sharing one soda with two straws.
Scrawny, pale guys with bad hair have no problems getting dates, but sweet, pretty girls who can cook, clean, sew, play every sport, and look good in a bikini will probably be home alone every Saturday night.
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